


Continuation

by bingewatcher



Category: Beckdam Fandom, Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Drama, F/F, F/M, High School, Random Updates, but plots are the same, degrassi au, relationship drama, rewritten story, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:57:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6696433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bingewatcher/pseuds/bingewatcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Adam had waited to text Becky after kissing Imogen? Would their relationship have coursed another way or ended in the same fate?</p><p>or</p><p>degrassi episodes rewritten from 1307 and beyond because i hate how degrassi killed adam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Honey, Episode 1307

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Alli's beautiful trip to France coming to an end, reality sets in as she tries to figure out a way to salvage her seemingly perfect relationship with Leo. After Adam returns from camp after making out with Imogen, he's hit with where his relationship with Becky stands. As the class prepares to go to a fancy french restaurant, Maya decides to show-up Zoe by purchasing a beautiful yet expensive dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bare with me as these first few chapters are short, not much can be done with becky in another state!

As soon as they had signal, Adam felt his phone chime in his hand.

 

Immediately opening it, he couldn't help but feel his heart speed up. Becky wanted to talk but he didn't know if that were a good or a bad thing.

 

At least she wanted to talk, right?

 

He glanced over at Imogen who was sitting next to him. There was some awkwardness between them as he admitted that their kiss, more like make out, was a mistake--he still loved Becky, only Becky. He felt guilt as he had used one of his closest friends. From this moment forward, he knew their friendship wouldn't be the same.  Adam had to suppress his guilt towards it, knowing the guilt he had for Becky was ten times worse.

 

As much as he wished to tell her that Becky wanted to talk, he knew it was in the wrong as Imogen held feelings for him. He wasn't completely heartless, that was for sure. His mind wandered to his brother. Drew was sitting up in the passenger seat when he got a text from his brother.

 

_Adam (02:12 PM)  
Becky texted, she wants to talk. Can't say it out loud, Imogen's next to me._

 

Drew smirks and couldn't help but be amused at how his brother got into such a mess. Drew was always the one screwing up now it felt weird being on the other side, being right. He told Adam not to pursue Imogen but he didn't listen--now he knew how Adam felt when Drew ignored his advice. His eyes went over his shoulders for a brief second, connecting with the gaze of his brother and they shared an understanding.   They wouldn't talk about it in the car as Drew, himself, had formed a friendship with Imogen.  It was clear the girl liked him, especially at how tense she sat next to Adam; not wanting to touch him in any way.

 

In the back seat Adam frantically waited for Becky to reply to his text. He had simply sent an I love you, followed by a text describing he couldn't speak now since he was in a car.

 

_Becky (02:20 PM)  
Okay, I'll call you tonight. _

 

Adam bit his lip, his hands feeling just the slightest form of sweat as they had so much to talk about. Music was his savior as the car filled with the absence of his friends talking and only the children speaking had become too overbearing.  Sure, he liked kids but not when his mind was going to implode with how to reveal to Becky what he had done. 

* * *

  
  
"Hey Becks..."

 

Adam was speaking hesitantly as he caught sight of the blonde on his computer screen. They decided to facetime, as Becky wanted to see his expressions. She always found she could tell more from his expressions than from his words since at times he wasn't verbally expressive.

 

Becky decided to talk to him, as she did love him. They had been through so much and to throw it all away for just a single fight was ridiculous. Sure, they had fought before but only small arguments, as they were both opinionated. But this was different; he hadn't believed her and basically accused her of cheating. That form of trust they held since the beginning of their relationship was dead. There was trust of her giving him her passwords, after what he did Becky changed all her passwords in fear he would go through all her accounts. That was something she wished to ask him about.

 

The blonde kept her face blank of emotion—even if she felt forgiving, she wouldn't let this be visible. He had to achieve her trust once more, if that were even possible.

 

"Becky, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you and that I hacked into your accounts instead of talking to you about it. I know I went about it the wrong way now that I've had time to think about it." It was true. They would be happy at the moment if he had just conveyed his insecurities.

 

"Why didn't you just tell me how you felt, Adam? I told you about Imogen and told you to back off her, which I hope you did." She paused as she watched him look away. He was hiding something as she had this feeling at the pit of his stomach, "You did right?"

 

Adam exhaled before looking at her once more. She looked so radiant with the slight darker shade of skin she was getting from the Florida sun. "When I was at the camping trip, I tried to call you and text you but I couldn't. There wasn't signal..."

 

Becky continued to eyeball him, letting him continue even if he were just going around the subject.

 

"I was even tempted to drive the car just to get signal but Drew convinced me otherwise. I just had something to tell you and I knew it would get your attention."

 

"Adam." Becky felt her heart race, as she had quickly gotten tired of his rambling.

 

"Imogen and I made out." He told her straight up as he knew he would drag around it if he didn't, "I'm sorry. I just, you shredded the flowers and she was giving me attention and Dallas basically said me and you were over and I believed it."

 

Becky felt what was her fast beating heart halt. The boy who was trying to capture her attention for the past week just gave up and made out with someone else? She didn't know how to react. It seemed like a slap to her face. What was worse is he was putting the blame on her than taking responsibility for it.

 

"Becky?" He rubbed his hands together as he felt sweat on his palms once more. Her silence was killing him. "It meant no-"

 

"Stop." She shook her head and ran her slender finger right beneath her eye, stopping the tear from rolling down. "I need more time. I thought I could just forgive you but you do that and that just makes me question your commitment."

 

Adam furrowed his brows. "Commitment? We were on a break. It's not even considered cheating!"

 

"We'll talk when I get back."

 

That'll be around two weeks. Another two weeks without talking to her in any sense-it was going to drive him crazy. But at least he could cling on to the hope they had a chance this time around. There was a chance.-

* * *

 

Becky felt a lump form in her throat as she lied in bed.

 

She wanted to resist the urge to cry but she couldn't help it. Adam had kissed another girl willingly and it felt like a betrayal. She knew he had a point when he said they weren't together at the time- they still aren't-but it didn't feel right.

 

If it were the other way around, she knew Adam would feel the pain she was feeling.

 

She curled under the covers of her bed and sighed, as she let her tears roll freely. Not talking to him was rough for her and she knew it was tough for him. There was always this urgency to tell him everything she had done that day but not being able to do such was heartbreaking.

 

Becky felt a sort of vacant without speaking to him but she knew these two weeks would help clear her mind, and his. There must have been some sort of urge to kiss Imogen, because he did.

 

That's what bothered her the most--did he have feelings for another girl? When it came to Todd, she held no feelings for him at all. There was no temptation, which made her feel comfortable around him. Why didn't Adam understand that? Thinking back on there conversation, she forgot to ask why he felt such urgency in pushing her away from Todd.

 

That was yet another thing to discuss with him. But not yet.  


* * *

 

"Bro, why did you even tell her?" Drew was unimpressed at how Adam went about telling Becky. In all his past relationships, he knew some stuff were meant to be kept secret for the good of the other person.

 

Adam shrugged his shoulders as he continued to play video games; it was a great distraction. But Drew wouldn't have it. "Bro?"

 

"What do you want, Andrew? She wants her space so I might as well give it to her now or else I'll never get her back." Adam admitted and felt this pain at the pit of his stomach. If Becky weren't to take him back it would be all because of him. It would be his entire fault; he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo, this will be my first published worked on ao3 but this is a story i have published with multiple chapters on fanfiction.net. you can catch more chapters at;
> 
> fanfiction.net/s/11055109/1/Continuation
> 
> i am rewritting the chapters as i go along. leave kudos and tell me what you think in the comments. thank you.


	2. Young Forever, Episode 1308

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As summer comes to an end, the students of Degrassi prepare to start the new school year. Clare is in remission and has to face her fears about the other student's judgements of her new appearances. Drew falls into place as his role as the president of Degrassi, not expecting so much stress his first few days. Becky and Adam finally have the talk Adam has been waiting to have; but not with the outcome Adam had hoped for.

"Are you going to dump him?"

 

"Luke, I don't know!"

 

Luke and Becky were in the van as their parents drove to their home in Canada. They had arrived in Canada around an hour ago. The country made her feels a sense of happiness that she missed down in Florida.

 

Sure, the summer was enjoyable as she had time to catch up with all her friends and enjoy the warm weather-but something was missing in the state. Becky knew what it was—more like who it was—but she didn't want to admit to it. Especially since that certain someone had betrayed her.

 

Mr. Baker sat up front and couldn't help but eavesdrop, along with his wife. Becky had come to them and told them that they had hit a rough patch in the relationship. This led to an argument between the three as Mr. Baker couldn't help but shove it in her face at how he knew they weren't meant to be.

 

Becky just couldn't catch a break. The only person in her family who gave her the time of day was Luke. She had confided in him after the fight with her parents and told him why her and Adam weren't talking. He understood and told her he would protect her at any costs, willingly offering to knock sense into the boy.

 

"I think you should wait until school in a few days, you know? See if he still talks to that weird chick or how he acts around you." Luke offered. Personally, Luke felt as if Adam weren't good enough for his sister but that didn't mean much as past boyfriends never felt suite for Becky either. He had to admit that Adam was better than those in the past, the ones before in Florida she had only been interested because of her religion.

 

The blonde sighed and leaned over to rest her head on her brother's shoulder. Closing her eyes, she tried to push her thoughts away from her estranged boyfriend. She hadn't planned for them to drift into this situation during the summer. What would of happened if she had just _stayed_ in Canada? Becky shook her head with a sigh and moved away from her brother, now settling on looking outside the window of the car.  Everything happened with a purpose, she thought it best to accept what had happened and find a solution.

 

Her gaze went to her cellphone, glancing at her text messages and huffed out a breathe.  It was nice that Adam was listening to her wishes to be left alone, but it nagged at her at what he could be doing to distract himself. Looking through her social media, she bit her lip as she noticed the infinite amount of posts she had made with Todd and sighed.  Maybe she did have a factor on the downhill of her relationship with Adam.

* * *

 

"Clare Edwards? That is your name, right?"

 

Adam smirked as he approached his best friend near her locker. It was the first day of school, so he was greeting all his friends that he had missed during the summer. Because of her chemo, Clare's summer was holding her back from having too many visitors. Adam would come once in a while when she felt fine but once she began to wore wigs, she didn't want him to visit.

 

It took some time for Clare to come into acceptance before she became comfortable with peers knowing she wore a wig. Now back at school, she was terrified students would judge but she knew Adam wouldn't be one of them.

 

"It's my wig, isn't it?" She was sporting a pink colored Imogen had picked out. They both laughed and then she closely examined his face, "Oh my your face has changed so much."

 

The blue-eyed boy rolled his eyes, "Don't tease me like that." He had taken his first testosterone shot two weeks ago--he was taking one per week. His mood had been chipper ever since as he was finally heading down the road for a full transition.

 

They walked along one another as they headed to the first class, which they shared. "Has she spoken to you?"

 

Clare was concerned, as he knew Becky and Adam's relationship was on the rocks since the summer. In all honesty, she was surprised Adam had willingly had a minor hook up with Imogen. Adam admitted to her what had happened over a phone call and she felt sorry for him since, as she knew Adam regretted it.

 

"No." Adam shrugged and felt his shoulders slump. He was expecting a call or text from her when she had arrived a few days back but there was nothing. He had no idea if she was purposely torturing him or if the relationship was really over.

 

His best friend patted his shoulder before walking into the classroom. "Guys! Over here!" Imogen was chipper as she finally spotted some familiar faces walk into the science classroom.

 

Imogen and Adam hadn't interacted since the summer program had completed a week ago. She still had some feelings towards him but he wasn't reciprocating. As much as she wanted to discuss what happened during camping, Adam never would.

 

"Crap, I can't sit with her." Clare glanced at her friend as he had his back towards Imogen. Clare had a look of confusion as to why he would reject her invitation—he would always remain friendly to old romantic interests.

 

"Wh-"

 

She was cut off, "Becky's in the corner."

 

He was right. Becky was on the other side of the classroom and was watching the whole thing go down. She spotted her estranged boyfriend as soon as he walked in and felt her stomach do flips; she hadn't seen him in so long. But it stopped as soon as Imogen spoke up.

 

"I can't screw up my chances, Clare." Adam was not at all willing to kill whatever hopes remained between him and Becky. He let Clare walk towards Imogen as Adam moved to sit up in the front next to someone he knew.

 

Adam greeted his fellow classmate before facing the front when the teacher walked in.

 

Becky sat in the back with a small smile on her face. Luke was right for her to wait.

* * *

 

Adam sat on the steps out in front of the school. It was lunchtime and miraculously he had received a text from Becky. She wanted to talk.

 

His emotions were everywhere as he kept waiting for a faint click of the door to know she was there. There was barely anyone out front as lunch was just starting. He hadn't even bothered to grab a lunch, as he didn't want to miss any time with talking to Becky.

 

"Hey." Becky's voice spoke up as she moved to sit a foot away from him on the step. She also failed to grab lunch as she had lost her appetite from nerves. When he looked into her eyes, she felt a smile form on her lips. He looked so concerned and nervous but the way he looked at her always pierced through her.

 

"Hi." He smiled back at her as she sat and never gazed away. "How was your summer?" Small talk.

 

"It was fun, except boyfriend trouble." She perked a brow and he chuckled. "What about you?"

 

"It was okay." She wanted to ask more as she knew his first t-shot was taken a few weeks back--she had saved it on her calendar. But she had no time as he went directly to the heartfelt conversation. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you."

 

Becky sighed, "Why did you do it, then? Both things, why?"

 

Adam glanced away as he tried to recollect his thoughts. "With Todd... I just felt like I was going to lose you if I didn't stop you guys from talking." He paused as she asked why, again. "I felt like you would want more from the person you were dating. I can only do so much and I cause problems with your family because of my gender status. I felt like you would want something easier to deal with. Whenever you were with Todd I was paranoid you would fall for him or go with him as he was this huge muscled cis guy."

 

"You know that's not what I look for in a guy, even if I was looking. I like you and who you are, not what's between your legs or how much muscle you have on your arms." Becky bit her lip as she contemplated whether to reach out to him or not. He wouldn't meet her eyes. "Look at me."

 

Holding in a groan, Adam finally met her eyes. He felt vulnerable with his insecurities on the table. "Why else did you do it?" Becky couldn't resist the urge to reach out and touch his cheek.

 

"The pictures you posted and you were always around him, ya know? All touchy feely, I got the wrong impression…your parents liked him, he's a Christian, he has a boat!"

 

"Adam, I wasn't interested and I'm still not interested in him. He's not the guy I love but even if you felt that way you should of said something."

 

He exhaled and nodded, "I know, that's where I screwed up. Imo- ugh someone kept telling me to just talk to you but I didn't listen." She visibly stiffened at her name, finally dropping her hand from his face. "Then with Imogen, I-I just took the risk."

 

"You took the risk?"

 

A few students walked past them, mumbling a few words as they had just heard possible gossip.

 

Now he spoke in a softer voice, "Becky, I seriously thought we were over and she was there and clinged on to me and I just kissed her." He shifted his body as he tried to look right at her, as now it was her that was looking away. There was no hesitation as he reached to stroke her cheek, but she moved away. "As soon as Drew opened the doors, it didn't feel right. I felt relief and total regret right after. I tried to text you but there wasn't signal."

 

"Wait opened the doors? You guys did this in a car?" Her voice slowly began to elevate in volume, as what would always happen when she was growing upset.

 

Adam nodded and slowly told her the story of what they had done; from the kids fake wedding, all the way to the bra.

 

"Was that it?" Becky scoffed and stood up, fixing her dress as she spoke. "You would of gone further if it weren't for Drew." She began to walk inside.

 

"Becky! Becky!" He followed right behind her and grabbed her arm to swivel her around, "Don't say that. You know I don't want that, at least not with her."

 

The blonde glanced at his lips as they stood really close to one another. He wanted to keep the conversation quiet to not attract attention from others walking around. "I should have resisted. I should of said no. I should have trusted you and now I know you don't trust me."

 

"You're right...I don't."

 

And with that she walked away. He didn't follow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be lengthy-er. hope you enjoy.


	3. This Is How We Do It, Episode 1309

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drew, as president, wants to kick things off with a bang but can't find the creativity for such idea-until gaining Becky's help. Meanwhile, Zoe has a rough start at Degrassi and immediately wants to leave in order to protect her secret. Also, Alli doesn't tell her friends that she is still seeing Leo, who has moved to Toronto in order to be with her.

“Andrew, leave me alone.”

 

Adam muttered as his brother shook his shoulder.  He was settled on some chairs in the gym, trying to take a nap since his brother decided to come at the break of dawn to school.  It was way too early for the third day of classes, but since Drew was his ride here, he had no choice but to tag along; so much for being enthusiastic for the new school year. “Come on, help me set up these balloons.”

 

“Nope. You can wait until Clare gets here.” Drew groaned as he stomped away, trying to arrange the balloons himself as an idea came to him.  Adam’s eyes blew wide up when Drew decided to blast the stereo on the highest volume that could exist on human earth. “What the hell, Andrew!”  He tried to cover his ears to silence the sound, but it didn’t work as Drew decided to dance now to the music.

 

Now he had no choice but to get up and turn off the music, “How do you have this much energy? Did you even sleep last night?” He swore Drew had got into bed after him, even though once he woke up Drew was already in the kitchen brewing a hot new cup of coffee. Something was wrong with his brother, but he honestly had no idea what. “What’s going on with you?”

 

“I’m only trying to get the school year off to a good start.  I’m the president; I have to do this right.” Drew huffed as he went to turn the music on again and Adam gave up, in complete defeat.  Maybe he should give his brother some credit; maybe he was trying to do well in school this year.  At that thought, his worry slipped away from him.  Taking his phone out, he sighed in disappointment as Becky had yet to answer his text.  Their conversation yesterday had ended on a bad note, and he had a feeling in his gut they would take another break – but it was understandable like Becky had said, there is no love without trust and Becky doesn’t have any confidence in him right now.

 

_Adam (06:02 AM)  
_ _I’ll see you during the welcome back assembly? We should talk._

 

A reply wouldn’t be likely, so he put his phone away, only to hear it chime a few seconds later.  His hope rose for nothing as it was only Clare.

 

_Clare (06:02 AM)  
_ _Does your brother have any idea where the keys are for the gym?_

 

He furrowed his brows, about to answer that they were here but Drew was already at the door opening it up. “Well, hey guys!” He greeted with so much enthusiasm, and Adam already knew what face Clare would be making; being up early and overachieving isn’t Drew’s forte.

 

Adam must have looked exhausted because when Clare saw him, the only expression on her face was remorse.  “You’re here too?” He nodded, feeling too exhausted to talk as she sat down next to him. “Why didn’t Dallas come with you guys?”

 

“Said he was coming with Alli.  He didn’t see us leave, probably because I look like a ghost while Drew moves like the Flash.” Clare laughed and pulled him in for a hug, having had missed him greatly over the summer.

* * *

 

Becky scanned the crowd to find a familiar face, noticing only Imogen’s a few rows back from where she decided to settle herself. “Becky.” Imogen’s voice was in a whisper, but sounded closer, and she kept repeating her name. “Becky, how was your summer?” Was she trying to play nice? How could she when she had gone and kissed her boyfriend, well sort of boyfriend since they were on a so called ‘break.’ 

 

“Imogen, what do you want?” Becky sighed as she turned around in her chair, Imogen sat a little more back into the seat, realizing her mistake in trying to talk to her. She couldn’t help the sad frown on her face before turning back around, her back towards Imogen once again. Her eyes then saw Adam on stage, coming down the side steps.  She had completely forgotten to answer his text in the morning since it was rather early even for her; she was an early riser, always awake by seven am.

 

Adam’s blue eyes focused on her briefly, pausing in his step as if contemplating whether or not to sit next to Becky; or even at a remote distance from her. Then he saw a waving hand behind her that belonged to no one other than Imogen. No way he was going to sit on that side of the room. Slipping his hands into the pockets of his sweater, he walked to an empty seat next to these kids he didn’t know – better to be safe than sorry.  As he turned his head to look at Becky once more, he noticed her eyes were also on him.  She was sitting alone, and he swore he got out of his seat for a second before another girl sat next to Becky, taking the only space available. “Great.”

 

As Drew stepped on stage, he felt his phone vibrate and saw a new text from the person he expected last.

 

_Becky (08:06 AM)  
_ _We can talk after the student council meeting._

 

He turned again and gave Becky a smile, which she returned in an instant. Becky’s mind was flooding with thoughts as Drew introduced those on the council.  Adam was someone she loved dearly but after the stunt he had pulled with Imogen, the trust was slowly gone.  Maybe their break would have to extend for a longer period – maybe they could be friends. 

 

Yes, friends.

 

A huge thump was heard in the room, with gasps, and she saw Adam fleeing to the front of the steps.  “Drew!” Adam shook Drew’s head, and he felt a panic inside him as he remembered months ago -- over a year ago -- where Drew had passed out in the hallway, and he had no idea what to do.  Drew’s eyes opened for a second with a dull smile, almost as if in the glee of finally getting to sleep. What the heck was up with his brother?

* * *

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Adam continued to pry his brother, literally and figurately, as he grabbed Drew’s face to see if he had any bruises.

 

“Yes, just didn’t sleep. I’ll sleep tonight when I have time.”

 

“You're not having dreams again, are you?” Drew shook his head, and Adam saw the tense of his jaw.  Before he could ask more, Drew stepped into the student council office which, was already packed, with people.  Adam huffed out a breath in defeat as he followed behind him.  Clare was already going on about the necessary representatives that they were missing.

 

“Well, I have our society representative.” Drew nodded his head towards Adam, as Clare just looked on. 

 

Clare narrowed her eyes between the brothers, “Do you have any idea what the society representative is for?” Her pen tapped on her notepad as all eyes were on Adam in the room, including Becky who he hadn’t noticed until this very second.  Her gaze was comforting.

 

“No, but I guess you’ll tell me.” Adam quipped, and Clare couldn’t help the easy smile that formed on her face.  His sarcasm was his kryptonite and Clare had gotten used to it. “We still need drama, knitting…” Adam’s attention went right back to the blonde at the table, and he noted the grin on her face – his sarcasm always amused her.

 

“Anyways…” Drew started, his hands on the table as he collected his thoughts.  Adam now diverted his attention, knowing he had to pay attention since he was a representative for some group that he already forgot the name of. “We need an event to kick off the year, something to get everyone excited.” He looked around the room to a variety of faces as ideas got thrown around, which Drew didn’t seem too satisfied with.

 

Clare also looked defeated from Drew’s expression, and Adam knew deep down she wished she was the one in charge.  It was evident Drew didn’t have the energy in him right now as Drew didn’t want a dance, he wanted to start the year off in a different way than others. “How about a party with a summer formal?” Becky started, being the first time to speak up. “We have winter formals so a summer formal can keep everyone in a light mood and we have some summer couple, like greatest tan or something.”

 

There were nods around the room and Becky’s perky smile gave way that she liked her idea, but Drew shook his head. “How about a beach theme party? Sand, water, umbrellas… It can feel like a party on the beach. This way the clothing can be more relaxed.”

 

“I mean, it’s pretty much the same concept- “

 

“Except no one wants to put on an elegant looking dress and tux in the middle of the heat.” Only the start of the year and the two were already in the quarrel of what will happen and what won't. Drew looked at Adam as if expecting him to say something but he shrugged; why was he even here? “Well, the society representative could set up a poll and see what the school wants.”

 

So that’s what the society representative represents.

* * *

 

“Thought I’d find you here.”

 

Adam looked up at the sound of her gentle voice, and he grinned, before watching the computer screen again. “I did text you where I was at.” She scoffs before settling down on one of the bouncy balls in the computer room.  It had to be one of the most vacant rooms as all the computer classes were now held in the newer rooms with, the faster computers. He clicked his mouse a few times, “Sad to say your idea is losing.  Drew was right; no one wants to dress up in this heat.” Adam had put up the poll on his Twitter since it was the only place he knew how to make a poll and those votes that he got went primarily towards the Beach Bash idea.

 

“It’s the same concept, but your brother is being stubborn… Is he okay by the way? I thought he was going to go home after passing out.” Adam shrugged at her question, and she knew he had no idea what was wrong with him.  Silence filled the room, with only the buzzing of the old computers in the background, as they looked at one another.  He knew what was coming, but he wasn’t ready to have another break with her.  He missed her, and it felt so strange not having her around him, or having her to talk to 24/7.  What he was going to miss most was kissing her and holding her. “You already know what I’m going to say.”

 

Adam nods and glances at her hand, gently reaching out to stroke the back of her hand. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.  I won’t do anything this time.” Becky exhales through her nose as she pulls her hand away slowly, and Adam feels like he’s been burnt.  He doesn’t meet her gaze as she says his name, “Yeah?”

 

“We can still be friends?”

 

“Are you sure?” His question is quick, and he gulps.  They had never been friends; it went from enemies to love interest in an instant. There was no friendly connection between them, it was strictly romantic and being around her was already driving him crazy.  The way her smell instantly clung to him, strawberries and vanilla, and how blue her eyes were that he felt like he was watching the sky after a heavy storm had just passed. “We’ve never been just friends.”

 

Becky bites her lip and feels almost exposed at the way he was looking at her as if he could see right through her that she didn’t want to break up. That she wanted to stay together with him and hug him and kiss him and spend the rest of the day holding his hand.  But that couldn’t happen because the thought of him with Imogen came to her head the instant her eyes connect with his.  “For now, that’s what we have to try to be; just friends.”

 

His heart deflated, but he nodded anyways, “As long as I can talk to you and see you. That’s all I care about.” Becky gives him a defeated smile at his answer, and he can read the mixed thoughts behind her eyes as she leans over to kiss his cheek so gently he wouldn’t have felt it if he didn’t focus solely on her lips 

 

Becky walks to the door and leans on the frame, hovering as Adam’s eyes linger on her. “By the way, you should represent the outdoors club instead.  It’s easier, and you wouldn’t have to make any more polls.” Adam lets out a small laugh and nods; he’ll be taking her advice.

* * *

 

“Where the hell is Adam?” Drew rubbed the side of his face as he waited, along with everyone else in the room, for Adam to show up since he was in charge of the poll.  “Becky do you know?"

 

She shook her head, “No idea.” Becky hadn’t spoken to him since yesterday, and it wasn’t like him to be late unless he had a reason to be. “It was a twitter poll, so I could just see the results myself.”

 

Adam stepped into the room with a loud huff of breath, just as Becky took out her phone to look at the results and Drew looked at him with a death glare.  “What? I came with Dallas and you know he’s always late.” He took a look around the room and furrowed his brows at all the random girls at the table, “Is this some tea party I don’t know about?” Clare snickered behind Drew at his joke. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one confused why all these girls were here.

 

“These are the representatives of the groups that were missing; I’ll probably need another one for society because you used a Twitter poll for results. Seriously?”

 

“What? Is that not a good way to approach it?”

 

Clare shook her head, stepping closer to the table. “Nope, because not everyone at school follows your Twitter. It wasn’t a formal poll so we can’t count it.  It looks like we’ll have to do a vote here in the room and see what idea gets the most votes.” Adam shrugged his shoulders; he needed to resign this position since he had no idea what he was doing.  Judging by Drew’s face, he knew he already messed up the only task he had been given.

 

“Either way, my idea will win.  It won in the polls, but Adam couldn’t come up with a better idea.”

 

“Well, Adam was forced into this position. I’m not a girl who will fawn over you and willingly join this.” Adam retorted and Drew narrowed his eyes.  Adam’s worry for him had gotten him all bothered up, creating some unneeded tension. He wouldn’t apologize for caring. A brunette at the table spoke up, evidently annoyed by this unnecessary conversation. “Can we get a move on?” Who the hell was she?

 

It took less than a minute for the vote, Adam going Switzerland as he didn’t vote either since technically he wasn’t part of the council anymore.  As well as he couldn’t decide between his brother and his ex-girlfriend that he very much loved to his core. That was a decision he was not up for.  “Thanks for not voting for me.” Becky came up beside him as he left the room and  grinned, “Your vote could have made my idea win.”

 

“Yeah, or it could have caused a tie in which I didn’t want to make another poll.” Becky’s laugh echoed in his ears and the grin on his face uplifted into a smile.  Their eyes met, and an idea came to mind, “Come with me to the dance?” She opened her mouth to answer but quickly shut it as they reached her locker. “Or meet me there, or not.  Whatever it is, I’ll be there.”

 

Becky tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and bit her lip. She wanted to go with him, but they had only just decided to be friends, literally yesterday.  Going together could give him the wrong idea, or give her the bad idea, and she wasn’t ready for that yet. “I’ll see you there, okay?”  Her heart panged when she noted the quick disappointment dash through his face, but he didn’t let it show as he forced a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying to make the chapters lengther and more pleasant. tell me what you think :) you can talk to me at vaporuub.tumblr.com


	4. You Got Me, Episode 1310

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drew finds himself unable to cope with stress as he struggles to organize the beach bash without falling asleep and forgetting his responsibilities. In order to impress her peers, Zoë tells everyone she is going to the dance with Drew but now has to find a way to convince Drew, or maybe Adam. Also, Alli tries to change her friends' perception of Leo and soon realizes that it will be a difficult task.

Adam descends the stairs into the basement, in search for his notebook that contains meeting plans.

 

He was elected as the president of LGBTQA Club, having been a part of it after his gender status was exposed year ten. There’s a small glint of eagerness in his pace; he wants to get to school as quick as possible because he had to meet with the vice-president and secretary. Why have a secretary is beyond his knowledge, knowing very well the group has never had an event held at the school.

 

Making it past the couch, he spots the notebook on the table. Next to it was Drew laid out on the sofa, still asleep even though it was almost time for school. Adam pursues his lips, debating whether or not to wake him because he knew he’s had trouble sleeping. The days are filled with taking prescribed pills to sleep better – Adam still didn’t know why Drew couldn’t sleep. Maybe it has to do with Bianca. Maybe about school and stress. Maybe neither of those. Whatever it is, Adam knows it’s severe enough that he has to take the pills.

 

“Hey, wake up.” Adam leans over Drew’s body, poking at his cheek. “Wake up.” Adam reinforces with a stronger voice. An idea comes to mind, a smirk on his lips, Adam smacks his notebook on top of Drew’s head; that wakes up him suddenly with a deep exhale of his breath. “Finally! What time did you get to sleep?”

 

“I don’t know, an hour ago? I ran out of pills.” Drew sits up slowly, Adam out of his way already as he goes to dump his notebook into his bag. Drew’s mind is clouded with groggily memories and dreams, remembering slightly an explicit chat he had with Bianca on the phone. “What time is it?” Drew can’t seem to find his phone; it must have made its way into the couch.

 

“Almost nine. I’m going to take the streetcar since you’re _obviously_ going to be late.” Adam’s tone is sarcastic and Drew groans as he lies back onto the couch. “Don’t you have a bunch of things to do for the beach bash? I can do some of it for you and Clare’s already at school.”

 

The text he got from Clare was anything but nice, complaining about how Drew wasn’t pulling his weight in planning. Even though Adam could argue that he was, that’s all he did every night when he couldn’t sleep – plan, organize, and order. “Shit, I forgot that was today. Can you set up the stereo system and a playlist?”

 

“Me set up the playlist? You don’t even like my music!” Adam sits down on the next couch, his phone in hand; sending Clare a quick text.

 

_Adam (08:37 AM)_  
_I’ll be there soon, I woke Drew up :)_

 

“But you have a better listening ear than I do. Ask Imogen to help you; she listens to all those pop hits.” Adam opens his mouth to argue but quickly shuts it. He and Becky did break up, so would it matter if he partnered up with Imogen for this one thing? They were in a band together, and their different tastes could make a good playlist. “I’ll be at school in a bit, just one more hour of sleep.”

 

Drew sighs as he lies back down on the couch, preparing to sleep again. Adam shakes his head, knowing very well his brother won’t wake up for at least a good three hours. “You’re lucky Clare likes me,” Adam states as he heads to the sliding door. “Night, Mr. President.”

 

* * *

 

Becky’s sights linger on the duo sitting at the back of the science room, both sets of eyes on the computer they are sharing.

 

Adam knows they have this class together, one of the few that they do share. It doesn’t settle right with her that he is sitting next to the girl that is practically the cause of their break up. Sure, Becky had broken up with him, but it doesn’t give him the right to stomp on the good they had left. This was the very classroom that they had been assigned as lab partners; _“…like oil and vinegar, you might not mix easily, but you’ll make a delicious salad dressing.”_ It was ironic how well that metaphor describes her relationship with Adam, and it was one of their inside jokes whenever Becky ate a salad.

 

Sitting down on the front tables of the room, her back to them both, she couldn’t exactly make out the words between them. _They have to be working on an assignment, don’t get so worked up!_ Becky glances at her phone since she has a few minutes before class was going to start. She scrolls through her contacts, wanting very much to complain to someone; anyone! There’s Jenna, but their friendship wasn’t as strong as before. _She’s too busy with her own boyfriend._ Maybe Luke? _No, he’ll get annoyed._

 

With a huff, Becky set her phone down when the teacher walked into the room. The start of the lecture didn’t keep her mind from wandering at how she lacked any real friends at Degrassi. Adam was one of her only real friends, and even with their agreement to remaining friends, she found that they didn’t talk. It has been about a week of separation, and yet their texts were minimal. It was sad, to say the least, because she misses him. And she can’t help but feel a little jealous that Imogen is getting the attention that she craves from Adam, even if it isn’t romantic.

 

Eventually, the bell rang. Becky is quickly gathering her things to leave the room, only having a few minutes in between to get to her other class. “Becky!” She had only made it a few steps out of the room when she heard her name being called. Of course, it was Adam, and she couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto her lips when he’s next to her.

 

“Hey, I have class-”

 

“I know… I just-” Adam turns his head the other way, Becky following his sight and she notices he’s looking at Imogen who’s walking down the halls. “Drew wanted us to set up a playlist for the beach bash and that’s what we were doing. I didn’t want you to think it was anything else. I wouldn’t risk us- I wouldn’t risk our friendship.”

 

Becky has a brow raised, her forehead creasing in the process. It was obvious he was nervous because Adam was rather eloquent when it came to speaking. How he had just spoken was anything but that. She slowly grins as she places a hand on his shoulder, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” _I trust you_ , “I know you.” She felt the ease in his shoulder at those three words and she quickly drops her hand. Trust was what broke them up, and yet she found herself trusting him entirely already. What was the point of the break up if she trusted him again?

 

Adam has a smirk on his face, and he nods in understanding. “Do you want to help me set up the stereo system? I can use an extra pair of hands.”

 

They’re friends. Friends help each other out so- “Yeah, just text me where.” She felt the same rush she felt those months ago when she had asked him to help her get signatures at the mall – except this time he was doing the asking. “I’ll see you then.”

 

“Okay, cool.” Saying goodbye to him feels awkward, most likely because they always exchanged a peck on the cheek or a kiss. Now they can’t do that because it’ll just be off putting. Luckily Adam takes control of that, even if Becky twitched to lean over and kiss his cheek, “I’ll text you.” He states while passing by her with ease. At least he seemed to find saying bye comfortable.

 

* * *

 

_Drew (01:57 PM)_  
_So, Zoë just asked me out? I thought everyone here was aware I had a fiancée. Maybe I should get a ring._

 

_Drew (01:57 PM)_  
_And I might have accidently called her while zoned out on those sleeping pills?_

 

_Adam (01:59 PM)_  
_Haha, have you told Bianca this?? She’d kill you… Who’s Zoë’s by the way?_

 

_Adam (02:00 PM)_  
_Good thing you don’t have any more of those pills._

 

_Drew (02:02 PM)_  
_This is not funny (even though it kinda is hehe.) I’ll probably tell her. A good story for our grandchildren._

 

_Adam (02:03 PM)_  
_Grandchildren already?? You didn’t tell me Bianca was expecting o: Name them Adam, it’s a solid name._

 

“Wow, working hard Torres.”

 

Adam looks up and grins at the blonde as she was shutting the door behind her. “I am a reliable worker. Remember my poll? Absolutely genius, it took a lot out of me.” The laugh Becky makes has a wavering effect on him, he swears he feels his heart pump just a little faster.

 

“I would assume you’ve set one of these up before?” Becky drops her bag on an empty chair and walks around the table, eventually finding her place next to Adam, and he hands her the manual. There’s a splatter of wires all over the table, and his laptop is playing soft music, which she guesses is supposed to be playing out of the sound system.

 

“Smaller ones, yeah. Connecting the bass to a sound system is as hard as connecting a radio to an outlet.” Adam eyes the cables and sighs, already feeling defeated. He’ll probably tell Drew to set it up himself because he has about twenty minutes before the club meeting. “You can read the instructions out loud, and I’ll follow?”

 

At this point, he’s kneeling by the table, at eye level with the stereo and the outlets in the back. Becky gives him a glimpse and meets his eyes briefly, almost sighing out loud at the effect his icy blues have on her. The light blue Pokémon t-shirt he’s wearing somehow making his eye color pop out more. “Okay.” The smile he manages is soft and sweet as he stands back up.

 

Becky redirects the manual to the first page, about to read the instructions, when they hear the door slide open. It’s the brunette who was at the council meeting a week ago – the representative of some school club. Zoë’s eyes look between Becky and Adam before she speaks up, “You’re Adam right, Drew’s brother?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Who are…” Adam looks at Becky and the blonde shrugs. Suddenly it clicks, this had to be- “Zoë, right? The one who asked Drew out.”

 

“Wait,” Becky adds in, the manual forgotten about on the table. “You asked Drew out? He has a fiancée!”

 

Zoë looked anything but amused as she crosses her arms with a huff. “I didn’t know that! He doesn’t have a ring or anything, and he calls me in the middle of the night, what am I supposed to expect?” She’s defending herself, not that she needs to. She doesn’t exactly have a reason to. “Whatever, anyways, you’re just as popular as him, right?”

 

That caught him off guard. That question could lead to any possible direction, and he couldn’t help to look at Becky again, who had a pensive look on her face. _She must also be thinking the same thing._ “I don’t know, why?”

 

“I told my friends I would be going to the dance with Drew and he’s incredibly popular. But he said no, and you’re the next best thing.” Adam admires her honesty, that’s one thing for sure. He doesn’t even feel offended, more intrigued than anything. _Who is this girl?_ “I wouldn’t ask unless I was desperate.”

 

Adam can practically feel the irritation coming from Becky’s direction. She’s stayed quiet with him but- “Maybe you should find someone you genuinely want to go with or stop lying to your friends.” Her words were obviously passive aggressive, and Adam tries hard, really he tried, to suppress his smirk but it’s impossible to do so. Becky’s spiteful demeanor wasn’t a rare occurrence, but she had to be deliberately pissed off for her to get catty. “Or at least someone you’ve known the name of for more than five minutes.”

 

“That’s why I asked Drew, and that led me here.” Zoë was just spiteful now.

 

He cleared his throat, trying to get Zoë’s attention, “I’ll have to pass. Go ask Zig or something; I have, like, ten minutes to finish this.” Adam gestures to the stereo system and Becky’s back to diverting her attention to the manual. The door slams, the only notice they get that Zo had left the room. “God, that was awkward.”

 

“You’re telling me. She does have nerve though; we have to admit that.” There’s a quirk to Becky’s lips and Adam chuckles, his eyes not leaving her face. His gaze lingers on the mole right above her upper lip, and he’s overwhelmed with the desire to kiss her. _Look away, look away!_ He blatantly ignores his own conscious and only realizes when Becky looks at him that he has been ignoring the words coming out of her mouth, “Adam, where are you?”

 

Becky watches him with curious eyes and a bite to her lip as he looks away. “Yeah sorry, what did you say?” His fingers twiddle with the wires, and he’s glad Becky lets his full-on staring pass as she starts to read the manual again.

 

A chime from his phone doesn’t get his attention until it rings three more times, indicating someone was trying to get a hold of him. Becky glances over to his phone as his hands are busy connecting the blue wires to each of the stereo’s, “It’s from someone called Jonah-”

 

“Oh, gees what time is it?” It had slipped his mind that he has to attend the LGBTA meeting as Becky’s soothing voice and patient instructions had created a bubble around them.

 

“Two thirty, I’ll tell Drew we’re almost done but couldn’t finish.” She’s pushing the system towards the middle of the table as Adam stuffs his laptop into his bag, quickly zipping it up and he mumbles thanks as he heads to the door. “I’ll see you tonight?”

 

Those words get him to stop for more than a second, and he turns his head to notice she’s patiently waiting for him to say something. Her eyes are eager, yet shy as he notices the twitch in her lip, “Definitely.” Adam waits until he’s out of the room to let a smile expand on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

“Of course not, music is the devil's noise.”

 

With that, Dallas looked at her with wide eyes as if she were the most obscure thing on the planet. “I knew you were religious, but not like that.” With a huff of annoyance, she turns to walk away from him.

 

She shakes her head, talking to herself. “No one ever understands my jokes.” _Well, except for Adam_. Becky reaches the snack table and pours herself a glass of punch, sipping it for only a second before grimacing at how sweet it is. Glancing around at her surroundings Becky notices how packed the gym was. She didn’t think it would be this popular but then again it was sort of her idea – well, part of it anyways. She had to admit Drew had a point as wearing loose dresses and Hawaiian print shirts gave the dance a relaxing vibe.

 

Looking at the back-print screen of the beach, she let out a content sigh. She couldn’t wait to head back to Florida for college. Canada was good, a little too cold for her taste, and a good of mix of city and farm. Still, she misses the beaches, the constant warm weather, even the humidity. She didn’t realize this until she was gone the whole summer and was back in her habitat – her home.

 

Even so, Becky also had a home here. And when he walked through the gym entrance, she was overwhelmed with that same warmth and ease that the beach gave her. The easement turned to rush when Adam’s blue eyes land on her and as he moved closer, the smile on her lips spread because his eyes were as bright as the sky. Not the ocean, _“the ocean is in your eyes, the sky in mine”_ is what Adam always tells her.

 

“Yellow, what an unpredictable choice.” He’s teasing her, and it’s so familiar, it’s so easy.

 

“It’s better than whatever that is.” Her eyes go to his buttoned-up Hawaiian shirt, it has the obnoxious hibiscus white flowers with blue leaves. “I think my dad has this shirt.”

 

Adam raises his brows before laughing softly, “It is my dad’s shirt so it might be a universal thing. Drew also borrowed one of his and trust me, it’s way worse.” His flattening out his shirt and Becky seizes him up; the shirt is baggy on him since he was so slender and Omar was more Drew’s size than Adam’s. She also notices how he’s wearing skater shorts – shorts, in general, was something he rarely wore. “You look nice.”

 

A shy smile forms on his lips and she grins at him. “Thank you.” Becky tilts her head to the side and can’t help fluttering her eyelashes at him. Just because they’re broken up doesn’t mean she can’t flirt, right? “Come on, let’s dance.”

 

Adam watches her set the cup down before she tugs at a button on his shirt, dragging him onto the dance floor.

 

* * *

 

The excitement from the night – Becky dancing, smiling, and even flirting with him – quickly disintegrated when his brother falls face first into a kiddie pool. It would have been behavior he could dismiss if Drew weren't already sleep deprived and popping sleeping pills.

 

“It’s Bianca; it’s school… it's everyone,” Drew starts with his eyes bright with tears that he tries hard to hold back. Clare physically consoles him, caressing his back and her hand on his thigh. Adam watches, sitting at the round table in front of them. It doesn’t surprise him that Clare brings a comfort to him as they’ve grown close in council, though Clare could continuously get annoyed by his antics. “You all came in with a plan, talking about college applications, future careers, while I didn’t do anything in the summer but the camp. It got me thinking what the hell am I going to do? How are Bianca and I going to move forward if I’m stuck not knowing what to do?”

 

“It’s scary for sure, but it’s not something to drive yourself to the brink of no sleep.” Clare inputs with a soft tone in her voice.

 

Adam scoots his chair closer to him, rest his hand on his left knee. “We’re all scared, Drew. Some just hide it better than others. Clare was in the hospital all summer; I was freaking out over a breakup, Dallas has a kid… You’re not alone in how you feel; it just matters on how you handle it.”

 

“Your brother is wise. I’m here to help you with anything you need; I am your V.P.” Clare smiles at Adam before looking at Drew, who slumps forward with a sigh but nods nonetheless. There’s a hint of a grin on his brother’s lips and a sense of relief washes over Adam’s body. “First, no more sleeping pills and no more Zoë.”

 

“I’ll get you some water.” There’s a softness to Drew’s express when he nods his head just the slightest.

 

There’s a sigh of relief that physically escapes him when he’s out of the student council room. _I wonder if mom knows about this?_ It's likely word will make round school tomorrow about how the student president was high and threw himself at a beach projector, but as long as their mom didn’t know it’d be totally okay. Hopefully.

 

A soft booming of music from the gym can be heard in the hall his locker is located in. “I told Dallas to stop the party in an hour,” Adam looks up from twirling the lock, opening it just in time. Becky steps close enough to lean her shoulder on the locker next to his. She’s worried, “That should be sufficient time for Drew to leave and avoid pestering eyes.”

 

“Thanks,” He grabs his hoodie that hangs inside the small space, and a water bottle on the top stack of the locker, “Zo gave him the drugs, apparently as a way for him to say yes to the dance.”

 

“Wow—that’s something. She’s a force to be reckoned with.” Adam snickers in agreement as he shuts the locker and Becky moves to stand up straight, only for her to keep him from moving by resting her hands on his biceps. He meets her eyes and lets out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding, the anxiety and worry for his brother making its way out by the mere touch of his ex-girlfriend. “He’ll be okay,” Becky whispers, but it sounds like an echo in the empty and lightly illuminated hallway.

 

Whenever Becky comforts him, he doesn’t know how he went through life hiding his insecurities and his hardships. Burying it beneath the surface of his fun-loving exterior. His sarcasm and jokes with his dismissive attitude gave him the personality that surrounded him with friends but only a few that knew his inner battles and complexities. And the moment his eyes settled on Becky the first time over a year ago, he knew he’d open up to her about everything and nothing at all.

 

There’s an air about her that makes her so warm and openly invites anyone to vent their problems. And he’s so, so happy that he has her in this way that many don’t. Not only can he open up to her, but she can to him. Another individual that has her conflicts within her brilliant mind. “Thanks, Becks.” Then she pulls him in for a hug he doesn’t feel he deserves. But he confidently accepts it with a smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally able to put a new chapter up, i sort of rushed it because it had been so long since i updated. some news... i am finishing my college career, finally graduating, so the updates are going to be completely unpredictable and maybe infrequent because i don't know when i will have time to sit down and write a chapter. hopefully theres time because i do enjoy writing this story :)  
> enjoy & you can talk to me at radude.tumblr.com


	5. You Oughta Know, Episode 1311

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clare begins to think that her cancer returned when she suffers from memory loss after writing an article about Zoe. Tristan and Miles join the basketball team. Imogen starts a club called Degrassi TV and looks for on-air personalities. Becky auditions, but Imogen doesn't want her to join due to awkwardness of her past hook-up with Adam.

There’s a familiarity in the room that comes from almost two years of walking into the same room three times a week. A friendship had bloomed from the activity and a passion formed for in Adam. He didn’t expect for so much to occur from Degrassi Radio. He knows his mom doesn’t exactly approve of his future career choice – the words _‘are you sure?’_ always ring into his head when he walks into the radio room.

 

And honestly, he’s never been too sure of a lot of things in his life except for this (and his love for Becky, of course.) Also, he’s pretty sure Dave switching schools is going to suck. He’s definitely sure about that.

 

“I can’t believe you’re moving away, dude. It’s your last year and all your friends are here.”

 

Dave runs his hand over his nonexistent hair, rubbing at it as Adam settles at the table. “My mom couldn’t say no to the job. I also need so little credits that I can graduate early.” There’s a grin on Dave’s face, “And new girls around. I lost my chance with Alli so hopefully, I can find some sort of replacement.”

  

Adam chuckles. “Alli 2.0?” He raises a brow at his friend as he settles next to him at the counter. “I can see that happening, not that it’ll work. If it didn’t work the first time around, it most likely won’t work the second.”

 

“Who said the replacement has to be a permanent thing?” Dave’s eyes scan over the multiple outlets and cables in their system. It’s always Dave’s task to check wiring and the system, while Adam’s is to come up with the music line up and the outline of topics for the morning. It’s a system that has worked very well and Adam is pretty positive he can’t handle this on his own, which is why- “You don’t have to stop hosting Mano a Mano, you know? You’re a Torres, the students like you, and you’re witty. They’ll listen.”

 

“Is this your goodbye?” Adam teases with a smile as his own eyes look at the topics for the day: his mind lingers on the first bulletin. _IMOGEN MORENO – DGTV._ Great. “I’ve never received compliments from you.”

 

He can feel the other’s teens presence when he sits in the chair beside him. Familiarity.

  

He’ll miss him.

 

“I’m serious, man. It could still work even with competition.”

 

Both their headphones are on and ready, Adam’s mind hoping Imogen doesn’t show up. She has a tendency for being late or forgetting. Or completely changing her mind on whatever her idea is and moving on to the next one.

 

“Sorry I’m late guys! I lost track of time with the fliers.” Imogen has burst into the room with a bun messily hanging on the side of her head and papers flying out of her hands, onto the floor. Adam feels completely out of luck. Particularly when Dave chuckles and points to the available seat next to Adam, that Adam has somehow missed. _Of course._

 

There is an awkward feeling in the air between him and Imogen from the past weeks without contact. It’s near impossible for them to have a regular conversation that does not involve school or other friends. “Here.” He forces a smile, one he has perfected over the years to look genuine, as he hands headphones to his guest. He needs to be nice because Imogen has done no wrong.

  

That is until their fingers graze and she doesn’t tear her eyes away from his. Was it intentional? Who knows, but the way Imogen is staring at him reminds him of the van. The way she smiled and flirted her way into rebound territory. The easy comfort of a friend and the spark that was present in a moment of desire.

 

Dave doesn’t miss a second of it as he quickly looks between the two and grins, “Keep it in your pants, lady and gent.” Adam looks to his laptop and clears his throat. There’s definitely nothing to say about that.

 

Though there is nothing to say, the image of what happened between them is imprinted into his memory. It’ll remain there because it was the first time he’d seen a girl in such an intimate way Becky wearing a bikini was totally not the same. Adam wonders if she feels the same. Even if that moment is one he regrets, he won’t forget it. It’s likely she doesn’t have regard to it in that way.

 

And he’s okay with that.

 

“Let’s do this.” 

 

::

 

“Adam, you’ve ignored me since that very day.” Imogen stands right in front of the door, arms crossed and a perked brow on her face. He sighs as he couldn’t escape the room fast enough that he’s now trapped with his summer fling. “I know I act all happy and go lucky but you hurt my feelings.”

  

He feels bad. Honestly, he does. “I’m sorry,” he looks down for a second before meeting her eyes again. A brown that’s always been warm and inviting, a contrast to Becky’s strong, dark eyes. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  

“By not talking to me and ignoring me?”

 

“No, by not showing interest.” He nibbles on his bottom lip and Imogen stands up straight, completely confused. “I knew you liked me and if I said I wasn’t interested, I was scared you’d no longer want to be friends... the talk we had in front of the school, on the stairs, popped into my head.”

 

She shakes her head and grabs his shoulders, making him stay still. “You kissed _me,_ you used me!”

 

“I know.”

 

Adam blinks a few times at her before she drops her hands and moves away from him. It’s clear she’s upset by what he’s said and done. He _is_ being honest. He didn’t want to lose her by denying attraction but he also didn’t want to confront her after kissing and running away. Overall, he’s being a coward and he shouldn’t be.

 

This is Imogen for god sakes. The girl he’s known for three years now and has done him no wrong, ever.

 

“Imogen, I am sorry. I used you to forget about Becky and was too scared to talk to you about it because I don’t know where this conversation can lead to.” Adam confesses in a quick, single breath. Imogen watches by the desk, her bag on her shoulder and flier in hands. “Becky dumped me and I want her back. I don’t know if that’s possible if we’re friends.”

 

“You shouldn’t let her decide who you can be friends with. That’s just weird.” She stretches her arms out in exasperation and rolls her eyes, a grin slowly forming on her lips. “You need to stand up for yourself.”

 

“I know.“

 

“You made a mistake but so did she. We saw her messages, we saw the photos. Sure, she didn’t cheat but it’s not like she acknowledged you much.” Imogen shakes her head and steps forward to stand near him, handing him a flier. “You’re a good guy, maybe too much of a good guy.”

 

Their eyes meet again and he blinks a few times, not knowing whether to confess his thoughts to her about that day. “I regret what I did-“

 

“Yeah, I know-“

 

He cuts her off, wanting her to know what he really thinks about that day. What he really thinks about the moment they shared. “But it was meaningful, to me anyways. I don’t know what would have happened if Drew hadn’t opened the doors but I won’t forget how you helped me. You gave me advice and you kissed me back...I kissed you for a reason and it wasn’t only because I wanted to forget Becky.” 

 

Imogen seems to be processing his words, a few blinks here and there and a shake to her head. “This is what I mean about you being too much of a good guy!” Imogen giggles with a smile on her face, “I still like you and this is definitely not helping.”

 

Adam smiles small in agreement. It’s weird and confusing but it’s the truth. He wanted to kiss her then and now he doesn’t. It is so conflicting but overall, he knows what he wants and who he wants to be with.

 

Becky.

  

“I don’t think we should be friends until Becky is cool with it.” He takes a step back, inching closer to the door.

  

She is close to him now, close enough that she hands him a flier. “You have the experience so it’ll be cool if you audition… It was nice talking to you, Adam.” Imogen’s eyes glance over him and she moves past him quickly.

 

The conversation lasted less than five minutes but it felt like an eternity.

 

* * *

 

Adam glances over to the other table, where Becky sits alone. She’s on her phone. It’s distraction enough from the fact she’s alone. Not that she minds, Becky has never really cared if she sits alone or not.

 

He zones back into the conversation at his table. Drew, Dave, Clare, and Imogen all sit with him and it makes him feel like crap because he took Becky’s friends away from her. Not that he literally did. There was no ultimatum, it’s just they’re his friends, not hers.

  

Jenna was Becky’s only other friend but she never seemed to talk to her anymore. Which made sense since she was constantly with Connor and Allí. Even Clare has drifted towards Adam and Drew more. Jenna seemed to be an outsider, like Becky, but with a boyfriend. 

 

“You should stop staring.” Clare punches his arm and Adam diverts his attention to his friend. She’s the only one left at the table now, somehow, he managed to ignore his other friends leave. “If you feel bad, go to her.”

  

He twitches in his seat and his lip. “We agreed we were friends but isn’t it weird? I don’t want to cross a line.” Clare’s always been great with advice. Her religious roots, selfless behavior, and overall drive to please others made for great conversation whenever Adam was in a pickle.

  

Like now.

  

“Invite her for lunch next time!” Clare shakes her head as she glances to Becky herself. “She’s a lone wolf but I bet she misses you like you miss her.”

  

“What if she heard Mano a Mano?” Adam looks down at his sandwich, his appetite wavering as time passes. At least their lunch is forty-five minutes. “I had to be nice to Imogen, she was a guest, and honestly she’s done nothing wrong.”

 

Clare huffs out a breath with a smile, “You need to talk to her about this. Becky’s all talk and trust and you sitting her wondering if she is upset or not isn’t helping your case.”

 

“Fine.” He lets out a soft sigh as he collects himself. He’s a little nervous as it’s been a while since they’ve spoken. Like really spoken. It’s always little things and superficial school talk. He misses their deep conversations and her lingering stares.

 

“Good luck.” Clare gives him a confident smile as she picks up her things and leaves the table as well. The occupied table is now empty as he approaches Becky and he immediately falls into her line of sight.

  

To say Becky is pretty is an understatement.

 

He’s always had a type — brown hair, soft eyes, and miss popular. Always a little edgy with a tinge of sensitivity. Bianca the bully, Fiona the socialite, Katie the survivor, and Missy the rocker.

  

While Becky is...Becky.

 

“Mind if I sit?”

  

The new girl from Florida. Little Miss. Sunshine. The god obsessed teenager. The Broadway wannabe. The science lover. The Bible thumper. The advocate for the homeless, the environment, and the animals.

 

“Go ahead.”

  

The dark blue eyes. The full lips. The straight white teeth. The perfect nose and the mole right above the lip. The blonde hair that use to be brown. The light makeup and the perfectly tweezed eyebrows. 

  

“You look nice.”

 

She’s beautiful and brilliant and that makes her hot.

  

His mind is in the gutter as they look each other in the eyes and in reality, he can’t help it. She always captures him into a daze of admiration and infatuation in the way she speaks or moves. Her ticks are easy to point out and so are her expressions, even though she constantly has a smile on her face with an approaching sense of self.

 

“A compliment...What possibly could you want?” She’s teasing him as the smile on her lips as she brings her water bottle up is evident. 

  

“One in return, obviously.” He turns on the wit and the sarcasm. He can’t let it be too obvious that he’s still crazy in love with her. 

 

“You were great on the radio this morning.” Here it comes. “Imogen and you have great chemistry. How was that?”

 

Adam takes a breath and extends his arm out to the middle of the table. It’s a go-to as he wants to hold her hand or play with her fingers. But it’s not possible as her hand holds her phone and in the other is her sandwich. “We talked after, about the summer.”

  

She perks a brow for a second before glancing at her phone again.

  

He needs to keep her attention in order for her to listen.

 

So, he lets it all out.

  

“I want to be her friend again.”

  

“Obviously, she was with you at lunch.”

 

“I know but,” He licks his lips as he pulls his hand back in, “Nothing is there anymore. It’s all platonic and the only person I’m into is you.” Adam blinks a few times as he adjusts his voice, wanting to speak to her softly, “I’ll do anything to get you back, babe, literally anything but if it requires me to adjust the people around me or what I can or can’t do...I can’t promise that’ll happen.”

 

Becky holds his gaze for a minute before saying anything and his mind is racking around. Sure, he told Imogen they couldn’t be friends until Becky approves but he gave in. He invited her to lunch and she showed up. “I like who you are, Adam.” She reaches up to push her hair behind her ear, “I just don’t know if I can trust you.”

 

“You won’t know until you try.”

 

She blinks a few times and he takes this as his chance, as his opportunity.

 

“Do you want to be my partner in English for the rest of the year?”

 

“Wait, this is what you want to ask me?!”

 

He nods and glances to the side, a grin on his face. “If you never trust me again or date me again, at least we’ll have English. I like your songs and your screenplays. And with my journalism skills, we’ll be brilliant together.”

  

Becky chuckles and gives a single nod in agreement. “Fine, but only if you help me out with something.” Her focus is completely shifted to him now; her food is done and her phone is face down on the table. “I want to audition for Degrassi TV.”

  

“Uh,” He clears his throat and pushes his tray to the side, his hands folded on the table. “Um, why? You know Imogen’s on it and is in charge of the whole thing.”

  

“I know.” She puts her elbow on the table, her finger running up and down the side of her water bottle. “I need a distraction though. Mr. Simpson already decided they’ll be no play or musical right now and none of my afterschool groups have anything big planned. I need something time-consuming and this is it.”

 

 He nods and pushes his cap up just a little more. There’s more clarity and now she can see his eyes without the shadow of the hat. “What can I help you with?” There’s no need to be worried. 

 

 Imogen already understands there’s nothing between them and Becky knows the whole truth. It’ll be a good idea if they both talk and maybe — maybe — become friends in the process. Though it would be weird.

 

The only thing they have in common is him.

 

“The topic… I have to come in with a story and an idea, right now I have none.” She’s looking at him with warm eyes as she speaks and he swears he can feel her knee close to his. He wants to touch her and it’s so distracting.

 

“Maybe something about God? Or your religion?” Adam starts and stretches his hand out to pick up a carrot that Becky had packed for lunch. “You have a lot to say about that.”

 

“That’s already expected of me.” His eyes wander to her neck and her jaw. He’s always liked kissing her right under the left of her jaw before kissing her on her neck where he knows she- “Adam, hello!”

  

He blinks a few times as he recollects his thoughts. 

  

In all honesty, he shots are driving him up a wall. He didn’t expect to feel so...sensitive lately and being so close to Becky that he can see the details of her face and the strength in her voice is making it hard for his mind to focus.

  

And then it clicks.

  

“How about abstinence?”

 

Becky furrows her brows and takes a second before her expression changes into one of thought.

  

“It’ll make people uncomfortable which is the point of news and it’s a topic everyone has something to say about.” Adam nods to himself and slowly forms a smile, “High school is all about sex so it could work.”

  

There’s a pause in her motion as she looks to the side. “I like it.” Becky’s lips turn into a smile of excitement and he smiles back easily. “Thanks...I should get going. I have to write what to say.”

  

She stands up from the table and he watches her with a grin. She catches him looking and approaches him, leaning down to kiss his cheek but then she lingers. 

  

The warmth of her and her smell is so nice. But the words she whispers get to him to miss her more, “If only we were still together, you’d know where I stand with abstinence now.” She pulls away with a smile on her face and he has no choice but to follow her.

  

“Becks, wait up!”

  

* * *

  

“You think your cancer is coming back?”

  

Clare sits stiff in the chair and Adam sits across from her.

 

Being in year twelve gives a privilege of the student council room, especially since his best friend is Vice President and his brother president. 

  

“I’m forgetting things really easily and it’s scary! I forgot you had lunch with Becky after I left. How could I forget when it was yesterday?!”

 

“Maybe the interview threw you off...” Adam pushes his chair out, standing up as he glances down at the table where their project lies. “You should see a doctor. It probably is just stress.”

 

She blows air out of her mouth and he glances at her. He can understand her concern and her worries, him feeling worried for her. Dying is scary and having to go through that feeling again is something neither him or Clare want to go through.

 

“I have an appointment tomorrow.” She pinches the bridge of her nose before standing, looking down at the cardboard with glued images and words. “I’m sorry you basically did this yourself.”

  

“It’s cool, Clare. It’s just journalism.” He gives her a reassuring smile, “I’ll finish it up, you should get home and take a nap.”

  

He can tell she wants to argue and disagree with his words, but he can also read the exhaustion behind her eyes. “Good luck with Becky.” She smiles and she’s off, leaving him with the project for about five minutes before the blonde comes in with a strong stride.

 

“Becks!”

  

He’s excited to see her and she greets him with a wide smile. It’s familiar...and formal. The smile she gives everyone out of politeness and respect. He kind of hates it when it’s directed to him but he has to grow used to it. It’s his fault she doesn’t have that tenderness to him at the moment.

 

“You said it meant nothing.”

 

“Right to the chase, huh?”

  

She keeps her bag on her shoulder and grips onto the back of the chair. He tries to keep his hands occupied by gluing down the images left onto the cardboard and he can feel her strong stare. “I didn’t ask to meet with you to be friendly.”

 

“Fine.” He shakes his head in defeat and looks to her with a strength in his voice. “It’s a moment I’ll remember and that’s the truth. It’s a moment I’ll remember because it was a first not because she’s who I did it with.”

 

“You should have told me that instead of lying.”

  

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings ag-“

  

“Adam, you're making these excuses when you just didn’t want to tell me!” She shakes her head and sighs, “How am I supposed to trust you when you can’t talk to me?”

 

He bites the inside of his cheek and caps off the glue stick, finding a need to keep his eyes everywhere except on Becky. “I have a lot going on, Becky...If this is just you reminding me how I’m messing up, then just do it over the phone.”

  

“Now you’re upset.”

  

“Of course, I’m upset!” What was the rolled-up poster board is thrown back onto the table and he can see Becky flinch when the glue slams onto the table. He knows how she can really hate his outbursts or his voice when it gets loud but he can’t help that he’s angry.

  

He’s angry, emotional, and misses her and he can’t bare it anymore.

  

“Why are you upset?”

 

“Because nothing is going as planned!” Adam gulps and pauses, his hands swinging down to his sides and his body stiff. It’s a realization that he’s only now getting. “Nothing is going as planned...We are supposed to be together, applying for colleges and enjoying our last year together but it isn’t happening. You’re doing your thing and I’m doing mine and I hate it.”

 

Becky only blinks in his direction as a response and he can’t get anything off her neutral expression.

 

Maybe she just doesn’t care.

  

“Drew is having a crisis, Dave is leaving so Degrassi Radio is ending, I’m no longer president of the LGBTQ group, I’m stuck in student council which I have no care for, and I couldn’t get tickets to a concert.” He feels a warmth overcome his face and he needs to keep himself together. He’s upset and he feels awful but he can’t let her believe he’s completely broken. 

  

So, he looks away and presses a palm to his right eye for a second, enough to stop whatever water works we’re coming. “I want to be alone,” Adam mumbles as he ducks down to pick up the glue stick off the floor only to find her closer to him, bag off her shoulder and her hand on his face. “You don’t have to-“

 

“Don’t be shy. It’s just me.” Becky whispers to him and he looks down, letting out a heavy breath. “I care about you.” He feels her lips touch the top of his head before her arms around her neck and he’s forced to be near her.

 

It’s comforting and so, so warm but he can’t do it.

 

“Stop.” He tells her and pushes her away, getting a look at her perplexed expression. “I want to be alone.”

 

And that’s when he realizes something.

 

Maybe he doesn’t need her as much as he thinks.


End file.
